Elizabeth Edwards

Dear Jean,
 First of all I want to thank you for featuring me, I am honored. As I keep meeting more ladies through our work at The Healing Chest I am awed by each of them. Each needs a special honor. I have come to feel I am only one of their voices. Each story breaks my heart and yet inspires me through their strength. And strength is what every single woman I have ever met who goes through this journey has such an abundance of. And love. All of us know what it is like.
I read Elizabeth Edwards book last summer on one of my soul searching, peace finding solo camping trips. I recommend this book to any woman, breast cancer warrior or not. I laughed, I cried, I got depressed,I got hopeful, it just brought every emotion, with such love and courage, to the surface. I finished the book with the hope that maybe she would get lucky and get well as most of us do.

When my true friend, who has seriously been by my side, walking me with my tubes hanging after mastectomy, bringing me food, just being there, told me today on our chatty walk that Elizabeth Edwards had died, my heart just sank and I cried.

41 years ago my mother died from breast cancer I was 21 years old. My older sister and and I nursed her until the day she died. My younger sister was too young. Now my older sister is also gone because of breast cancer and my younger sister and I have it too. Although - today we are fine! Medicine has come a long way since then. BUT the biggy with  myself and my sisters was that, as we feverishly wondered, as we dutifully checked our selves for lumps, the biggy was, what does a lump feel like? NO body talked about breast cancer back then (1970 ish). What Elizabeth Edwards did was what we all need to do in public, all the time. Talk about it, share it, even when you get that blank stare that I have so often encountered. For younger women, we need to eradicate the ignorance and fear that I still find accompanies this disease. This is what Elizabeth Edwards worked on. If we all make it part of our mission to open up to the non knowers, I hope, as younger women have to encounter this disease, it would at least not come from the angle of soul racking fear. 

I guess what I would sum up my feelings to say is that read her book, honor her, and tomorrow dedicate your practice, as we will be doing tomorrow morning in our Healing Chest class. That she will live on in our hearts,have a peaceful passing, and thank you Elizabeth for your voice.   


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Permalink Reply by Halle T on December 8, 2010 at 8:55pm
Susan, thank you for sharing this. You're right-- we've come a long way in cancer awareness. Let's hope that our granddaughters will be even that much further. What a day when the world can take 'cancer' out of the dictionary!

I love your idea of honoring Elizabeth in our next practice.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from her:
"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful."
Permalink Reply by Jean Di Carlo-Wagner,MA,E-RYT500 on December 12, 2010 at 4:35pm

Dear Susan,

Would you share what a lump (your lump) felt like...excellent point! My sister said hers felt like a pea, and she had  a pimple on her breast that was shedding cancer cells...this is not unusual!  I have lumpy breasts and never know exactly what I'm supposed to feel!  I'm going to ask for an MRI this next time, because I've had mammograms since I was 35...twenty years of radiation can't be good.

 

Thank you for your wonderful post! and so much truth!
Blessings,

Jean

Permalink Reply by Susan Holbrook on December 13, 2010 at 10:24am

Alrighty. I actually did not have a lump. Nothing palpable by the docs or myself. This is what is so amazing about the diagnostic tools they have today. They found my cancer on a still cellular level through digital mammography, then a needle core biopsy. Because of my family history I was being monitored carefully at the University Colorado Hospital Breast Center. An MRI and Mammogram alternating every 6 months. The cells showed on the mamo not the MRI. Some cells can show on one and not the other and visa versa. Nothing was seen 6 months prior. Some cancers grow very fast. Because they were able to detect so early I was categorized as Stage 0 Grade 3, Comedo DCIS. These are very aggressive bad cells. By the time they would have developed in to a palpable lump it would have been a very serious problem. I am also Her2nu positive and estrogen Negative. No Brac 1 or 2. But the genetic counselor I see in Denver, Lisa Mulineoux at Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers, feels there is probably a gene in my family that has yet to be identified.

My message to all ladies is be regular with your screening. Breast cancer now has one of the highest cure rate percentage of all cancers predominantly due to early detection. Feeling for lumps is good, but had I waited to go in by the time I had a lump my diagnosis would have been have been very bad. I had lumpy breasts too and that just makes it harder. I had had many needle core biopsies in the past, all negative. They can find stuff really early now.

I also conferred with three different breast cancer teams in the Denver area. I always advise a second opinion. It is a spirit racking experience, but it will give you better piece of mind in your decision of treatment. In my case each one recommended bilateral mastectomy - do not play with the devil. Had I been faced with varying opinions, that would have made the decision making process harder.

That is it in a tiny nutshell. Any questions any one has, I am happy to share my experience.

Namaste, Susan  

 

Permalink Reply by Camille Kittrell, M.S. ERYT on December 14, 2010 at 10:04am

Dear Susan, Many thanks for honoring Elizabeth Edwards. Her solid self-dignity amidst traumatic health and marital upheavals makes her a powerful role model for women of all ages.  In my recovery yoga classes, I have not mentioned her demise, as I don't want to possibly invoke fear or sadness, especially in newly-diagnosed...I keep thinking a client will bring up her name, but so far not.  We are all carrying her energy, though....thanks for giving me a platform to safely share here.  Camille

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